she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
I just stole a conducting baton from the chicago symphony orchestra... i have to stop drinking on weeknights
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
Grindr hookup awareness: always make sure that you agree to blow one person and they aren't bringing a Friend/boyfriend. Shits weird when you're sober.
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
What do you bring to an "I'm getting divorced party?"
.......Shattered dreams and tequila?
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
You're going to literally shit your fucking unholy pants when Jesus rides in with his dual light-sabers on his velociraptor and cleaves you in half.
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