So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
Sometimes a girl needs 4 shots of whiskey in her diet coke at 5 in the afternoon and i feel no shame in admitting that girl is me
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
Omg I literally just wanna sleep with you right now. Like actual sleep. Not sex. Well maybe. But sleep first
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
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