then he goes, "ok, i have to go talk to the girl i'm semi-talking to/dating and see if i'm in trouble" WHAT IS MY LIFE?!
she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
next time you go get food at three am and leave a rando here can you warn me??? Also i tazed him. but it was just my little one so i think he'll be fine. bring me some fries.
Randomize
