I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
Did you draw a mustache on my drivers license picture??
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
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