planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
i upgraded from drunk texts to drunk e-mails...real world here i come
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
His daughter is our waitress. I left her a ten dollar 'I'm sorry I'm a whore and fucked your dad' tip...
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
A log hopped out of the fireplace and caught the carpet on fire. Good summary of this election if you ask me.
THIS FUCKNUGGET
DOES HE EVEN REALIZE HOW MANY INCREDIBLE INSULTS I'VE WASTED ON HIM
I'VE INSULTED THE EVERLOVING SHIT OUT OF HIM AND HE CAN'T EVEN APPRECIATE IT
THE HO
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
Randomize
