I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
Just puked in the monkey exhibit at the zoo. They ate it. I don't want a pet monkey anymore.
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
Don't tell me you're on acid again
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
Randomize
