I swear she didn't look like that last week.
I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
You're married and I'm going to make out with a stranger tonight. Isn't that weird? It's like a gap in the time space continium.
I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning.
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
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