Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
my new game is to try to use the phrase "explosion in your mouth". as much as possible on tinder.
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
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