it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
he woke me up at 3 am to ask me where my plunger, a towel, and staples were. i'm afraid to go into my bathroom.
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
You know how most people would take your keys when they don't want you to leave a party? Those 2 girls aren't most people. They took my pants instead.
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
Ughh I think I'll just sit here in the dark and wallow in self-pity while drinking wine and knitting scarves for my future cats.
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
He was married to his college girlfriend for 20 years. Just give him the blow job he’s been fantasizing about since last century and he’ll be wrapped around your little finger
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