worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
im on my way to getting "i just graduated college with no money, no job, and no plan" drunk
We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
You okay?
I walked into work with a banana and a loaf of bread
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
I’m gonna slowly take you in my mouth and push you deep into my throat so my lips are right up against your body and then I’m gonna fucking bite your shit off if one more of our friends shows me a snap you took while I was giving you head. Are we clear?
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