I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
I woke up at 5 this morning face down on my bed with gummy bears stuffed in my leggings. Yeah.
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
The dog destroyed my vibrator and swallowed several pieces. Vet gave us a laxative so now I’m checking lots of dog shit and having no orgasms. Plus the cute vet knows I don’t get enough dick, so that’s just great
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
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