Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
NO TEQUILA
Why do I always think it's a good idea? Like a challenge? Shit maybe I should CHALLEGE myself to get laid for once instead
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
You'd be proud. Took my birth control today at 12:30 with a Budweiser. Guy across the bar saw and held his bottle up to salute me 😂
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
How I know I would be an awful mother....I just stirred the bong up with a baby fork. A literal baby fork....
We are totally like Jim and Pam, except ya know, drunk and not together anymore.
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
Randomize
