I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
I HAVE stop dating guys for their prescriptions, you have no idea how awkward family dinner was. Thank god for his xanax.
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
Randomize
