alcohol turns me into mario batali of easy mac
I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
I’m sorry I got high and yelled about the patriarchy.
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
Randomize
