I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And one night I got way too drunk and thought he said call me a polish name so I called him Konrad. Now he thinks I cheated on him with a Konrad.
That's my new pick up line call me a polish name
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
There was a slutty maid costume on the floor when I woke up, but the house was trashed. Either she's been fired or got promoted, I'm not sure which.
How is it possible that I'm still a virgin and you've managed to have sex in a cheetah print onesie TWICE
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
Woke up naked with a post-it that said "don't ask questions" on my ass...i know im not supposed to ask but uhm what did I do?
Randomize