like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
do you want me to make hamburgers?
i'm vegan
i'll put lettuce on them
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
Randomize
