haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
I'm having sex on a snuggie, yes i stopped to text you
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
These eggs taste like chocolate chip cookies. This is the best hangover ever.
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
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