I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
How did I pull off convincing everyone that my name is Dad? Maybe they were just distracted by my boobs.
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
TSA found the edibles
Fuck
Oh my god he just. Swiped them for explosives and handed them back to me
God bless California
Randomize
