Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
Mental note: adding peach schnapps to a gin and tonic does not "water it down."
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
You were crying in a drunken stupor for an hour because "the new daft punk album didn't blow your tits off"
Netflix keeps asking me if I'm still watching just because I've been sitting here all afternoon...why do I feel like my tv is judging my life choices?
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
I described my life as a 7 layer cake of death
The guy in the room next to me just offered to hide the next dose of morphine he will get for his broken leg under his tongue and then swap it with me in exchange for a roll of the good toilet paper my parent brought for me last they visited. The psych ward is a lot more hardcore than I thought.
Randomize
