You're completely useless in the revolution.
I can tuck mytits in my pants
Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
he threw an umbrella that he ripped out of the table at the fence like he was harpooning a whale while the owner of the bar was outside then tried to blame it on an old man...
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept