im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
I swear I have "I love assholes" written on my forehead with ink that only guys can see.
His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
25 Of The Most Cringeworthy Internet Stalking Fails
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
The only dream I remember having is one where my dad's sperm turned into baby hippos. Like, tiny baby hippos, pocket-sized. I am so fucked up.
Just tried to use the bottle of Sprite in my car as mouthwash to get the taste of puke out of my mouth- it's half vodka. Puked again. Thanks man.
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
21 People Who Barely Escaped Death
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
I feel sorry for the person who's phone number is 704-1776 cause from now on I'm giving that number to every guy I never wanna talk to again. Happy Independence Day