So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
happy early fathers day!!!
im not a father
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
bikini waxes are so much more painful when you know you're not getting laid
10+ Incredible Tumblr Stories That Will Leave You Shook
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
Highlight of the night was you walking into the men's room yelling "My husband is diabetic" and crawling under the stall to yell at me.
16 People Who Have Raised The Bar For Petty Revenge
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
After getting kicked out of the bar, you proceeded to McDonald's, ordered 30 nuggets, slammed them all back in 5 minutes and then stole 3 traffic cones...how you only got charged with drunk in public is beyond me.
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?