I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
I feel like this woman may give her husband a hand job mid way through dinner. just saying.
I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
I'm resourceful. I forgot we don't have coca cola so now I'm drinking Jack & Dew or Mountain Daniels. Also, I haven't decided on an official name yet for this drink. I'm leaning toward Jack & Dew
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
What kind of terrible faithless God would allow vodka and one ply toilet paper to coexist?
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
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