a smallpox vaccine scar is like a lower back tattoo.
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
i woke up this morning with a fake eyeball in my pocket
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