Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO GET MY FUCKING CUPCAKES WHEN THE GROUNDSWORKER I HOOKED UP WITH IS LOITERING IN THE VENDING AREA
I found you in the bathroom. You were sitting cross-legged on the floor wearing nothing but socks completely surrounded by broken crayons.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
Beat the bartender in a shot challenge for a free tab. I won that, and him. I never get tired of the "this is my first time with a guy.." bullshit.
How do you even...
The magic of Christmas. And whiskey, of course.
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
Went to bed still wearing my bralette. When I was changing this morning, a Tootsie Roll fell out. I'm definitely living my best life.
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