Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
Oh right she's pregnant - that's why all of her statuses have been uber depressing
Siri just reminded me to pickup Plan B
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
Benefits of having to stay in jail for the weekend: learned how to make my own make up out of colored pencils. Also how to make use of toothpaste for hair products. Downfall was probably getting hit on by a murderer. Only me.
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
Randomize
