...so i touched it.
We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
I ran out of diet so I'm mixing captain with a juice box. Being a mom has finally paid off.
Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
Literally getting boned by my flask right now. I didn't really think about this whole sneaking past security in a skin tight dress.
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
Got paid to make out with a girl. It takes skill to be this drunk and still make money
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
My new successful method of booty calling is sending a screencap of a map with the shortest route from their location to mine highlighted.
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
Randomize
