Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
Accidentally peeing a little on the couch in the middle of a sneeze is way different from railing a random on our waffle counter. I am the better roommate.
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
Her son walked into the middle of the living room, took off his diaper, shit on the floor, smiled at me, and walked out, as if nothing happened.
So date night went well?
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
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