ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
Someone said we're out of ice. You collapsed on the spot and started sobbing, saying 'but where will all the polar bears live". That drunk.
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
the cops are being surprisingly chill about david hanging from a tree with no pants.
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
Randomize