Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
Just realized how many men I've had sex with for the first time in St. Patty's Day past. Currently sending "HAPPY SEXIVERSARY" texts...
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
My girlfriend is talking to my ex-boyfriend at the bar right now. I REPEAT, GIRLFRIEND IS TALKING TO EX BOYFRIEND RIGHT NOW. GET ME THE FUCK OUT OF THIS PLAACE
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
Randomize
