the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
i think im the only person who makes thank you cards for their drug dealer
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
There is a reason my most meaningful relationship since 2012 has been with Duracel...
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