Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
i woke up with my wallet keys and phone missing and a treasure map to find them stapled to my shirt.
haha i know
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
God loves me. So high, craving Jimmy Johns chips, looked down, unopened bag in front of me. Still doesn't feel real
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
why is there a dog in my house with your initials shaved in it's fur?
dude, i just woke up in a house i've never seen. i have bigger problems
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
Randomize
