Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
Woke up with two cats staring at me. One covered in puke thats giving me a look that says it might be my fault. Where am I? Come get me.
Hurricane my ass. I'm riding a god damn kayak down the flooded highway if it's the last god damn thing I do, god damnit.
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
Last year I got a dildo in the mail on my birthday. Today it was just a credit card bill. Sadface.
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
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