just threw up while drinking by myself. This is all your fault. You here = a good night, You not here = alcoholism
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
