well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
last night I learned that if you try to buy tacos in this town, that you will be stopped by three cop cars with breathalizers
Randomize
