His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
Nothing too major over here lately. Just had a date with an ex-internet porn star turned lawyer. He said: "at my 3rd burning man I taught a workshop on BDSM" and I knew it was going to be a fun night.
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
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