Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
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She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
Cut a hole in the crotch of my onesie so we could have sex without me getting cold. Best decision of my life.
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This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
I ran into a wall that clearly had things popping out. My eyebrow was bruised, both arms, the bottom of my foot. Lost half of my finger nail, my fake eyelash was stuck in my hair and I have about 47 blurry pictures of a half naked zombie DJ.
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
I want you to know I am at work super hungover and I threw up in the mop sink. I feel like you will appreciate this
You're my fucking hero
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