CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
Note to self: when drunk try to remember that ctrl, alt and dance doesnt exist on a keyboard.
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
I made my uber driver take a pit stop between clubs so we could restock on Xanax. #priorities
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
How in the fuck did you get LIVE MOTHER FUCKING BATS!?!?! Into my ROOM last night????
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