we're blogging at a bar
Did you just throw up mid-sentence?
I thought the fact that I took home a 42 year old with 3 kids would excuse my tardiness this morning because my boss is also 42 and has 3 kids. Boy was I wrong.
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
I woke up to an alarm on my phone that said "Buy Plan B" and then the guy offered me a hairbrush... which seemed polite at the time
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
Randomize
