i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
PENIS EMOJIS WOULD MAKE MY LIFE SO MUCH EASIER GAH WHY DOES THE WORLD HATE ME
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
So unofficially, he told me he deleted tinder because of me. I think that's a pretty romantic gesture in 2018.
Randomize
