So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
High. As. Fuck. I thought the kid next to me didn't have an arm for like 2 hours.
Hahahaha I'm glad you woke me up with this text.
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
I think I deserve an award for the breakup text I sent him. Like a pulitzer prize or a donut or something.
Christ, I'm so hungover I pretty positive I sent Luna to school with salsa instead of jelly on her sandwich.
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
Randomize
