eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
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