They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
The highlight of your blackout was when you drunk showered with the garden hose and emailed your boss your vacation requests for the next year.
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
You may now shotgun with the bride
wtf... you literally introduced yourself as "that friend who's going to fuck all your other friends."
I hope you know that means regardless of their gender.
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
I just set up a proportion to calculate how much Jolly Rancher vodka I can make with the limited amount of Jolly Ranchers I have. Finally, real-life application of math.
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
The FEDEX guy just cock blocked me by getting his van stuck in my driveway
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
Randomize
