I swear to god Kristen, if this "cute" guy you are trying to hook up with's friend asks me if we can role play, and I play his mother one more time, Im leaving. You have 3 minutes to save me or I am out.
what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
Can I just text her like "yo sorry I fucked your boyfriend, let's go get sushi" or like nah
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
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