It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
The only way i can get arrested is public drunkenness or defacing a national monument. Trust me, i have already looked it up.
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
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