I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
The only way I made it through work was reminding myself how many margaritas per hour I was making
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
Tumblr User Tells Story About A ‘Demon Gets Adopted By A Grandma’& It Needs To Be A F**king Movie
I woke up to three texts telling me to "go fuck myself," a panicked voicemail from my mom, and a girl thanking me... I'm not sure which I should take care of first
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
20+ Kids Who Probably Didn’t Mean To Draw Hardcore Porn
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
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