ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
new years resolution: more sex, less car punching, more chipotle.
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
23 Roommates Share Secrets Their Roomie Thinks They Don’t Know
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
29 Cringeworthy Situations People Realized They Shouldn’t Be In
I thought I was pretty much sober now but then I realized I've been eating scrambled eggs with my hands...
Just chugged a Bloody Mary in 60 seconds flat. New personal best! Happy Sunday!
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
Randomize
