Texts From Last Night

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  (631): View more from New York

  life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...

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  (631): life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs... http://tfl.nu/upvm
  Replies (11) Good night (763) Bad night (5714)
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  (781): View more from Massachusetts

  I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.

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  (781): I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house. http://tfl.nu/8emi
  Replies (13) Good night (6026) Bad night (1675)
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  (216): View more from Ohio

  We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber

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  (216): We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber http://tfl.nu/uas6
  Replies (16) Good night (4004) Bad night (1111)
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  (770): View more from Georgia

  No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.

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  (770): No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party. http://tfl.nu/c4s1
  Replies (9) Good night (3628) Bad night (792)
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  (207): View more from Maine

  I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.

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  (207): I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside. http://tfl.nu/y846
  Replies (6) Good night (743) Bad night (1498)
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  (781): View more from Massachusetts

  I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!

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  (781): I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!! http://tfl.nu/j0eq
  Replies (7) Good night (1820) Bad night (674)
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  (410): View more from Maryland

  I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.

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  (410): I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful. http://tfl.nu/rt55
  Replies (5) Good night (573) Bad night (1886)
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  (231): View more from Michigan

  Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover

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  (231): Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover http://tfl.nu/r5rk
  Replies (5) Good night (957) Bad night (536)
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  (208): View more from Idaho

  I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.

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  (208): I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko. http://tfl.nu/cj6v
  Replies (2) Good night (601) Bad night (376)
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  (831): View more from California

  Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.

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  (831): Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword. http://tfl.nu/t35m
  Replies (5) Good night (727) Bad night (593)
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  (817): View more from Texas

  Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.

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  (817): Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse. http://tfl.nu/j30i
  Replies (2) Good night (871) Bad night (396)
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  (256): View more from Alabama

  It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.

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  (256): It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration. http://tfl.nu/toyt
  Replies (0) Good night (952) Bad night (329)
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  (203): View more from Connecticut

  I've literally NEVER been on a date or gotten through one episode of netflix without having sex like I JUST WANT TO WATCH TRUE DETECTIVE

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  (203): I've literally NEVER been on a date or gotten through one episode of netflix without having sex like I JUST WANT TO WATCH TRUE DETECTIVE http://tfl.nu/wb1j
  Replies (3) Good night (595) Bad night (354)
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  (315): View more from New York

  he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed.

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  (315): he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed. http://tfl.nu/gyqg
  Replies (1) Good night (493) Bad night (549)
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  (908): View more from New Jersey

  He wants Portugal to lose so badly he threw out all the sangria. You know how depressing it is to watch someone dump 4 gallons of heaven?

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  (908): He wants Portugal to lose so badly he threw out all the sangria. You know how depressing it is to watch someone dump 4 gallons of heaven? http://tfl.nu/a24b
  Replies (3) Good night (275) Bad night (602)

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