my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
I'm crossing my legs while pooping. Taking a shit has never looked so proper.
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
I think sneezing out coked up boogers onto your professor disqualifies you from the "I was sick" excuse
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
Drake has all the answers
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
I have 3 vacation days left and I'm guarding them like a gay dragon on a pile of gold dildos molded after celebrities.
Smaug the FABULOUS
You're even getting laid in my dreams, god I'm a good wingman
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
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