Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
I just walked into his bathroom to see two poops floating... no toilet paper. WTF!?
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
Pretty good. They took the stitches out but it still hurts like a bitch. The doctor says I should be off crutches by next week.
Well, that's good. Let's hope drunk you doesn't sabotage you.
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
Randomize
