so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
We named our party play list daddy issues
I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
The beers last night were like the tears from god
Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
No exaggeration. At the gas station she handed me the mop from over the counter and told me that's my last drink of the night
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
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