"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
The only things in my fridge are almond milk, Smirnoff Ice and chicken noodle soup. I'd say I've done mama proud.
I'm just saying, I walked in on you blowing a burrito. I now understand how obsessed you are with Taco Bell. And how long it's been since you've got some.
Reasonably certain my seventh grade teacher is encouraging me to drop acid on twitter
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
Randomize
