Saw a pregnant woman get a lap dance last night. I love the south.
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
I found you in the bathroom. You were sitting cross-legged on the floor wearing nothing but socks completely surrounded by broken crayons.
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
Randomize
