dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
a bus full of elementary school kids may or may not have seen me pissing off my front porch this morning
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
God I need to hump something, right now.
Randomize
