So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
I walked from the hotel to the club with a pint of tequila in my boot. Poured some in a homeless woman's mouth when she asked for change. I've hit rock bottom.
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
Randomize
