xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
There was a time I was reining queen of Sunday funday... And at that same time I also weighed 20 pounds more, had the morale of a spearmint rhino stripper, and woke up most mornings asking more questions than fucking Barbara Walters. I think I just wrote my own epitaph.
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
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