would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
I'm so hungover that if we go to panera, I'll probably get a bread bowl to throw up in.
You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
Randomize
