Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
Randomize
