what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
You, me, naked, mistletoe, fifth of jack, gallon of lube, condoms, Cheetos, handcuffs, rope, along with no morals, inhibition or judgment. That's all I want for Christmas.
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
He said "send me a motivational picture" so I sent one with mayo on my face that said "clearly I'm no stranger to white stuff on my face"...I'm the fuckingng worst
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
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