did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
Nothing says I have a hang over like telling your boss to "eat your shit"
Fucked Zombie Jesus at a Halloween party. I need Plan B before I give birth to the Antichrist.
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
I can't even be mad at customs in houstons airport anymore for missing my flight and having to stay overnight. Within an hour of meeting we did it at her place. Her last word being "glad I could show you real southern hospitality". I'm definitely coming back here someday
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
Randomize
