Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
Watching Argentina vs Germany during a wedding on an iPhone. Thank you Steve Jobs.
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
He said he loved me so I pretended not to hear it because I don't think "I love your penis" was the response he was looking for.
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
I literally just wiped coffee off of the corner of my mouth with my boob because my hands were full. Thought youd be proud. Good morning!
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
Just found out that the guy I lost my virginity to voted for Gary Johnson. It's almost more upsetting then him ending up being a massive asshole.
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
Randomize