i just fingered the ice cream at home instead of getting a spoon
been there done that
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
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