my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
I didn't pay for a single drink 'help me I'm poor' was my drink pickup line. it totally worked.
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
Randomize
